this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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