So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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