Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
