I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
