so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
we're so committed to being not committed
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
