so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
