Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
