Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
