Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
