he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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