go do what you do best...puke behind churches
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
