oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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