U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Dear god my vagina.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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