Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize