I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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