she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
