Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
she smelled like a LAN party
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Dicks are not precious.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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