Betty ford says i'm here all night
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize