sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize