Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
