her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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