i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
