My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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