Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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