so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize