Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
