pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
