I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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