Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
