It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
