my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
