My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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