Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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