I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
