You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
