no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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