he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
