that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i think i just lost a toe
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
