It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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