The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
