im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
