I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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