Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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