just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
handjob tips. give me some.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
