is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
