She said her name was "party"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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