NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
