what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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