party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize