Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I am one with the molecules
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
