You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
