oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
