that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
