he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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