I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
