We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
