we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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