About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I could fuck to npr.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
