Its about making memories worth repressing
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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