I think im going to throw up on grandma
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
