I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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