I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
