Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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