I got chris browned last night
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
