I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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